Imagine you live in a world where all of the women and children have ceased to exist, where the land is teeming with gangs of men, some depraved, some violent, others just trying to find a place to hide, and remember the world the way it used to be. This is the world of Olathe in Lisa: The Painful RPG, created by Dingaling Productions a.k.a. Austin Jorgensen. In the game, we follow the story of Brad Armstrong, a down on his luck ex-martial arts teacher who has survived in the post-apocalyptic land of Olathe alongside his childhood friends. One day, he comes across a baby lying on the ground, but not just any baby; a baby girl. Realizing the implications of finding the only girl left in their world (and trying to atone for a mournful event in his past that involves his loathsome father, Brad brings the girl home and raises her. Eventually, word gets out about Buddy (the girl’s name) and she is taken from Brad. He sets out to find her and therein begins the strange, beautiful, and often times, perverted story of his quest to find her.
The three laws of robot cooking are as follows:
One: Do not spill water on self.
Two: Follow all instructions exactly.
Three: Do not cook more than two things at once unless it conflicts with law number 2.
I broke rule #3 back in May when I decided to do my Jurassic Park Cooking Adventure on the same day as my I, Robot Cooking Adventure.
It was later in the evening, the lighting wasn’t as good, my hair was crazy, and for some reason, I developed a lisp whenever trying to say anything with an ‘s’. However, the recipe for this Lemon Butter Chicken was pretty spectacular. It’s a little more involved than I had expected but in the end, it was a sight for sore eyes, especially after a full day of slaving over a hot stove.
I had meant to have a newly filmed Cooking Adventure up this week but unfortunately my schedule didn’t allow much time to film this past weekend. Fear not; I will have a few new ones up my sleeve for the coming weeks.
Interested in the recipe for this yummy winner chicken dinner? Shift and shuffle down the page to check it out. It’s made of stuff every robot (or human pretending to dance “the robot”) desires. The original and beautiful recipe is from Damn Delicious and yes, yes it was.
I had to obey my inner voice this week. It told me that I had a craving for eggplant (probably the first time that’s ever happened) and that I should find a scrumptious recipe to tackle for this week’s Literary Cooking Adventure. As such, I found a terrific one for some Eggplant Parmesan Boats, which were relatively easy to make and tasted SO GOOD!
Alas, the gift of obeying does not come without its share of frustration, as protagonist Ella found out in Gail Carson Levine’s “Ella Enchanted”. Renegade eggplant escapees, a dastardly onion that refused to be cut, and a pretty bad breakdown while trying to film the intro to the video are only a few of the things that went wrong.
Want to make this spectacular dish for yourself? BEHOLD! Scroll down to find the ingredients and directions!
Welcome back to My OLD Writing, a series for Horror-FAIL Friday where I go back and share some of my earlier (and often terribly written) stories along with side comments and observations wondering what on earth I was thinking. The current story deals with a group of over-dramatic college students at a hoity-toity photography school. Lila has the hots for her new biology teacher, Mr. McFadden, but also doesn’t realize that’s really NOT OKAY. Her best friend, Samus (randomly named after a Nintendo female heroine), is experiencing some strange flashbacks to his friend, Ross’s, death. McFadden is also experiencing these weird bouts while wide awake (trying to teach a biology class about cloud formations). And then, there’s Lila’s cat, Angelo, who needs as much supervision and attention as a dying patient in a geriatric ward for his so-called heart problems. Let’s rejoin the characters and find out what the hell this is all about. Maybe.
COOKING ADVENTURE VIDEO
A GAME OF SCONES
I live in Maine where we’ve been getting an abundance of snow… Basically, a snowstorm every couple of days. In between all of this insane shoveling and toning of my shoulders and arms, I’ve been inspired to do more baking, especially literary themed baking. And, yes, I have been itching to do this particular idea for a few weeks now.
Hello, hello! Incidentally, this is my 300th post on the Monstrum Chronicles blog and what better way to celebrate then with a good laugh. I’m going to be starting up a new weekly blog called “Horror-Fail Friday” in which we examine some tragic examples of horror gone wrong.
Today’s inaugural post is a video from Let’s Player HarshlyCritical. The game: Timore (which possibly rhymes with “Amore“). Yes, for all of you Dean Martin fans out there, you can start singing. In addition to a strange, unexplained name, we have a protagonist with no story who is wandering around an oddly constructed building with blood-covered (and I mean COVERED) walls. He’s pursued by Paintshop plus mannequins, licorice-flailing arms, and the diabolical flaming Timore, who looks like the bad guy from “The Final Sacrifice” with a red cloak.
Watch, laugh, and take notes, folks.
Today on a special Inspiration Through Music, I’ll be focusing on the songs that helped to inspire my newest book, Night Time, Dotted Line released today on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. This is my foray into comedy, a book that I’ve worked on for the last two years, slowly piecing together different scenes until they formed a quirky and fun tale of two strangers that decide to take an impromptu trip across the country together. Need a little more? Here’s the official synopsis:
Following a realization that his life has become monotonous after his divorce, Spencer, a lawyer, joins a free-spirited conservationist, Calleigh, on a spur-of-the-moment 3000 mile car trip to an environmental conference in Oregon. Within moments of hitting the road, Spencer’s cynical views on life immediately clash with Calleigh’s upbeat personality. Add Calleigh’s perky Pembroke Welsh Corgi and a cast of eccentric characters including a “soul-serving” diner owner and the insufferable Count Stiltsula, and soon they are in for a journey that just might drive them all crazy.
COOKING ADVENTURE # 73: Blackened Chicken with Lime Cilantro Quinoa and Choco. Chip Cookie (Take #2)
Jeepers. I tried SO hard to pay attention to the instructions on this recipe. I usually have a hard time with finding the ingredients for these adventures. This time, it was just following the simple directions. I assumed that creating this dish was somehow more involved than it actually was. While gleaning snippets of important sentences and stitching them back together all wrong in my head, I managed to turn my kitchen into a minefield of quinoa. Yes. Almost every surface had quinoa on it by the end of this adventure because I over-complicated everything. At least the food tasted amazing in the end. If it had all been for nothing, you’d see a much more self-deprecating post than this. Of course, all was well and good until I attempted to make that personal chocolate chip cookie again that I failed to do a couple Cooking Adventures ago. Why is it SO hard to make this thing?! It’s almost like I need to hire a professional chef in order to make me a cookie. Pathetic.
COOKING ADVENTURE #66: Epic Meatloaf
Two weeks. I’ve been waiting two weeks to make this damn meatloaf. This heavenly concoction wrapped in celestial bacon, and coated in a divine ketchup brown sugar glaze has been on my mind day and night. And while I underwent my search for a new vehicle, I kept hoping that I’d be lucky enough to have some time here to get groceries and time there to actually make the meatloaf. Well, finally tonight, my time came. And the finished product didn’t disappoint one bit. I allowed it to bake as I tuned into the live coverage of the manhunt for the last suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings. It was a tense, edge of your seat evening in more ways than one. I’m just glad that everything turned out okay in the end. As the crowds in Boston cheered as the suspect was apprehended alive, I, too, cheered as my meatloaf came out of the oven looking like the best thing I’d seen all week (besides my new car, of course.)