Welcome to the Frost World of Jurassic Park! That’s right; this week in celebration of the release of Jurassic World, I decided to do a Jurassic Park themed Cooking Adventure. Michael Crichton is my favorite author and his books are some of the ones that inspired me to start writing in the action/adventure genre.
Yes. ‘Tis I once again, returning for a rogue Cooking Adventure. I’ve honestly been up to my eyeballs trying to get everything ready for Memento Mori: Book 3 of the Monstrum Chronicles and haven’t had any time to even cook new things! I’ve literally been subsisting off of the boring same ole, same ole for weeks. But last week, it was a special week, one of my absolutely favorite weeks in the year. It was SHARK WEEK, a time where the Discovery Channel dedicates the week to raising awareness about sharks and trying to portray them as the beautiful and magnificent creatures that they are, and not as nightmarish beasts. In my bid for a slightly more successful Shark Week party this year, I decided to up the ante by making some stellar Sharknado cupcakes in addition to a carved shark watermelon and cool blue cocktails. This proved to be just a little more in depth than I expected.
COOKING ADVENTURE #76: Watermelon Shark, Shark Cupcakes, and Shark Cocktail
Ever since I learned that there was a week entirely dedicated to sharks, I dreamed about hosting a Shark Week Party, wherein all things including the food would be related to this prehistoric beast of the sea. I have been planning this party for several weeks now with colleagues from work. Including several different shark themed dishes, we would also watch the Rifftrax version of Jaws, which a few of the folks at work had never seen anymore. This throws me for a loop. This is one of the best films ever made in my opinion (my 2nd favorite behind The Wizard of Oz) and is a must-see film. I spent several hours cleaning the apartment, creating the dishes, and setting up the movie. And though several people were unable to make it in the end, we still had a blast chowing down on our left over Chinese food and other tasty treats.
First off, let me say that this was probably the most anti-climactic cooking adventure that I’ve ever done. I mean, who doesn’t get excited about the prospect of glow-in-the-dark cupcakes? Huh? It’s almost magical. And while I’d hoped to have them done for Halloween, I was struck down with the demonic cold. Since I’ve been fighting this cold off for the last month, it proceeded to completely knock the stuffing out of me for a full four days, including Halloween. Believe me, folks, I was NOT happy. Halloween is pretty much my favorite holiday and I was in bed by 7:30 sleeping off an evil migraine along with the cold. I still haven’t quite gotten rid of it yet. There is a tickle that just stays with you in your throat… and it only gets bad when you’re trying to have a conversation with someone. So, getting over the cold delayed actually making the cupcakes. When it was all said and done… I’ve got to say, it wasn’t really worth it.
…. Yeah. I love owls. They are one of my favorite animals, not just because they’re cute. I think they are very intelligent and wise animals. And I’ve discovered recently that owls are associated in many different countries with death. Hmm… sounds like a good idea for a Halloween cupcake to me! At first glance, this looks like an incredibly ambitious task. When I found the recipe, I knew I wanted to try it. But I had also wanted to do it with my friends, because… it’s more fun to do these things with someone else, than by yourself. However, craft night didn’t pan out to be very crafty so I found myself rolling up my sleeves the next night, preparing to dive into a veritable chocolate death. They may look cute and innocent… but deep inside, they are secretly trying to kill you. DON’T LOOK INTO THEIR EYES.
I’m going to start with a disclaimer. I thought the cheesecake was bad. This recipe blows that one out of the water by so much that it’s almost not funny. This was undoubtedly the most frustrating recipe I’ve done this year. But I have to laugh because somehow, deep beneath the optimism, I knew I was going to mess it up. Although, I must say, whoever posted that recipe on food.com was a mighty idiot as well. They should have specified that out all the cake mixes you can use for the recipe, the only one you can’t is a Jiffy Mix. Thanks, person. Now I’ve got a heap of something that doesn’t resemble cake at all sitting on not just one but two different pans in the kitchen. The apartment is about 90 degrees and smells like brown sugar. I’m so tired of looking at this thing that I don’t even want to eat it. That’s when you know it wasn’t worth all the work.