Thigh Robot Literary Cooking Adventure

The three laws of robot cooking are as follows:
One: Do not spill water on self.
Two: Follow all instructions exactly.
Three: Do not cook more than two things at once unless it conflicts with law number 2.

I broke rule #3 back in May when I decided to do my Jurassic Park Cooking Adventure on the same day as my I, Robot Cooking Adventure.

It was later in the evening, the lighting wasn’t as good, my hair was crazy, and for some reason, I developed a lisp whenever trying to say anything with an ‘s’. However, the recipe for this Lemon Butter Chicken was pretty spectacular. It’s a little more involved than I had expected but in the end, it was a sight for sore eyes, especially after a full day of slaving over a hot stove.

I had meant to have a newly filmed Cooking Adventure up this week but unfortunately my schedule didn’t allow much time to film this past weekend. Fear not; I will have a few new ones up my sleeve for the coming weeks.

Interested in the recipe for this yummy winner chicken dinner? Shift and shuffle down the page to check it out. It’s made of stuff every robot (or human pretending to dance “the robot”) desires. The original and beautiful recipe is from Damn Delicious and yes, yes it was.

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The Old Pecan and the Sea Literary Cooking Adventure

Once again, we return to the kitchen in a brilliant effort to create another pie. This time, I attempted to tackle the very precarious Butterscotch Pecan Pie. I had some trouble the last time I attempted one several years ago and it almost turned to goo before I froze it, capturing its saccharine essence in solid form. I was hoping that this pecan pie would be a bit easier provided my extensive and disastrous history. I was proven wrong.

As with the banana cream pie, the pie crust decided to be the most obnoxious part of this Cooking Adventure. I had to roll out, shape, pin-prick, and bake 2 in order for it to work. There are apparently very detailed steps one must follow in order to get the perfect pie crust including thawing, unrolling, pressing, pricking, chilling, weighting, and baking…and I didn’t follow them for shit. Sorry, but all of that kagatha just to pre-bake a pie crust seems ridiculous. I should have just done it. Maybe then I wouldn’t have ended up with something that looks like it was made out of sand.

The other thing that really set me off was my inability to open the bag of pecans. I wish I was joking. There’s a segment in the bloopers where I struggle with the bag of pecans for almost a full two minutes before succumbing to rage and hacking it open with a pair of scissors. Then, I couldn’t open the bag of butterscotch chips. It wasn’t my day.

As a tribute to Hemingway’s classic novel, I decided to take a break and cast a line, hoping to hook something good. Instead, I managed to capture the rare but ferocious Lemon Jelly, a cat with an insatiable appetite and primal rage.

Interested in the recipe for this disastrous pie leviathan? Scroll down and behold!

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Ella Eggplanted Literary Cooking Adventure

I had to obey my inner voice this week. It told me that I had a craving for eggplant (probably the first time that’s ever happened) and that I should find a scrumptious recipe to tackle for this week’s Literary Cooking Adventure. As such, I found a terrific one for some Eggplant Parmesan Boats, which were relatively easy to make and tasted SO GOOD!

Alas, the gift of obeying does not come without its share of frustration, as protagonist Ella found out in Gail Carson Levine’s “Ella Enchanted”. Renegade eggplant escapees, a dastardly onion that refused to be cut, and a pretty bad breakdown while trying to film the intro to the video are only a few of the things that went wrong.

Want to make this spectacular dish for yourself? BEHOLD! Scroll down to find the ingredients and directions!

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Cooking Adventure: A Game of Scones!

COOKING ADVENTURE VIDEO

A GAME OF SCONES

I live in Maine where we’ve been getting an abundance of snow… Basically, a snowstorm every couple of days. In between all of this insane shoveling and toning of my shoulders and arms, I’ve been inspired to do more baking, especially literary themed baking. And, yes, I have been itching to do this particular idea for a few weeks now.

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MEMENTO MORI Cooking Adventure Video

VIDEO COOKING ADVENTURE

CHOCOLATE BLACKBERRY CREAM ROULADE CAKE

*Disclaimer* My camera’s audio isn’t that great, so you may need to turn up your volume for this video. Enjoy!

“LOOK WHAT I HAVE CREATED!!”

COOKING ADVENTURE #85: Campfire Cake

Campfire Cake

First of all, “LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE CREATED! I…HAVE MADE FIRE!” Okay. Now that that’s settled. Making that fire sucked in every which way possible. It wasn’t easy, not in the least bit. It probably would have helped if I’d had the exact kitchenware to pull it off but I improvised with what I had. I should get some points for that. Honestly, I had a feeling that something as complicated as this cake idea would probably be a lot more trouble than I was imagining. But, it’s all for a good cause.

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Forget Me (Chicken) Not Pie

COOKING ADVENTURE #35: Chicken Pot Pie

I’ll be frank, readers. There have been very few times that a cooking adventure has actually gone the way it was supposed to with no problems. In fact, I can count these times on one hand. However, we can now add this cooking adventure to that list. Not in my wildest dreams did I expect this recipe to turn out so well. And even better, it is something I can eat! It also happens to be one of my favorite comfort foods. While I have been trying to branch out on the things I eat (I ate most of a hamburger this past weekend!), I’m still playing the eating game cautiously. All it takes is one wrong food to send me into a painful ulcer fit. Now that I know how to make this hot comforting dish, I plan on doing it often. It’s not complicated by any means, uses very few ingredients, and there’s almost no way I can botch it up… unless I forget certain ingredients, which… I won’t lie to you… I did once during this adventure. Doesn’t matter. The pie turned out perfect without it and it tasted like something… that someone else besides me made.

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The (Rather Short) Bland Adventure of the Ulcer

COOKING ADVENTURE #31: Haddock with Mashed Potatoes

So, you are probably wondering why I didn’t make Baklava like I said I was going to this week. I’m pretty sure that the title of this post sums things up quite well. Last Friday, while enjoying my blueberry pancakes, my ulcer decided to flare up and try to kill me. I spent the next couple hours in extreme pain in the emergency room waiting for them to give me a G.R. shake. This shake apparently consists of Tums, Pepto Bismo, Mylanta, and Zantac all in one. It stopped the pain for about three hours and then it was back to moaning and groaning and such. It’s been 6 days of eating very bland food so that I won’t upset the ulcer again, plus taking proton plus inhibitor pills to help heal it. I also discovered last week that apparently watermelon is extremely acidic as it caused me to collapse on the floor in pain after eating a slice. So from this experience, I’ve learned a lesson in what foods I can have and what I cannot. And to put it as plainly as I can, it sucks. Big time.

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Come Together Crumbs

COOKING ADVENTURE #27: Glazed Kiwi Tart

 

Ah, kiwi, that strangely exotic, vibrant green fruit that is frequently ignored when it comes to desserts. Well, not today. For a couple weeks now, I’ve been craving something sweet… but not as decadent as, say Devil’s Food Cake. I wanted it to  have fruit in it and be something that I could do without too much of a fuss. Therefore, it was pretty convenient when going through an old issue of a Hannaford Fresh magazine that my mom had given me, that I should find this amazing recipe for a kiwi tart. Just looking at the mouth-watering picture confirmed in my mind that I’d have to make this recipe. And I did it like a boss. I wasn’t even at the top of my game the day I attempted it and it came out superbly, minus one or two difficulties in the process.

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The Midnight Frittata Train

COOKING ADVENTURE # 13: Sausage and Green Pepper Frittata

Frittata: the name of this recipe oozes easiness. After all, it’s eggs, a combination of vegetables and meat, cheese, and herbs. It’s something that anyone should be able to make along with an omelet. So, why do I get the feeling that I’ve messed up this ridiculously easy dish? Maybe because it was supposed to have been out of the oven about ten minutes ago and its… well… still cooking.

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