Horror-FAIL Friday: Bad Titles

Killdozer - © Universal TV

So, you’ve crafted a horror novel, or filmed your movie, or made your horror game. Now all you need is something to call it. I’ve always felt that picking a title for a book, film, song, or movie is a very unique and wonderful moment. I like the idea of coming up with the right combination of words, or just a simple composition that ultimately leaves people interested in wanting to learn more about the piece. I do, however, know that there is also a wrong way to go about this.  Take the film above for instance. “Kill-Dozer”? Seriously? It’s like a bad incarnation of “Christine”. A bulldozer isn’t that intimidating when you think about it. It’s slow, big, and really only frightening if you happen to find yourself on a construction site in one’s path. And the thought of a possessed bulldozer makes me wonder what the filmmakers were smoking when they came up with the concept for this one. It’s certainly not the worst though…

Lights Out

I love R.L. Stine, but for the love of God… Worst tagline/title combo for a horror book.

Die Softly

What? “Die softly?” Does this lady die in a cashmere sweater, or on a fuzzy hearth rug? Maybe she dies while hugging her pet bunny… I don’t even know…

So it’s raining vampires now? I get it. There’s vampires. And rain. But… All I can think of is “It’s Raining Men”

Advil, Aleve, Tylenol, and Excedrin will be RESURRECTED! (More like regurgitated…) If you’re a “painkiller”, you are relieving it, not causing it. The guy on the cover looks like he’s about to whack some people…therefore, causing PAIN. And then…he’s going to resurrect them…and cause more pain…?

“I never wanted to be a real boy! And now you’re going to pay, Gepetto! You’re going to PAY!”

I’d like to compare these to a few very, very good ones if I may:

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison

The Cat Lady by Harvester Games

Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy

At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft

A Cabin in the Woods, a film by Joss Whedon

Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

The Wolves of Midwinter by Anne Rice

What are some of the worst horror titles you’ve heard? What are your favorites? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Stay tuned for next week’s Horror-FAIL Friday.

~KSilva

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